


sate.

by MalevolentReverie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breeding Kink, Controlling Kylo Ren, Darkfic, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Full Shift Werewolves, Grooming, Imprinting, Incest, Is it bestiality if they're both werewolves, Knotting, Kylo is 16 when this starts and progresses to 21, Pack Dynamics, Possessive Kylo Ren, Power Dynamics, Rey is 11 when this starts and progresses to 16, Scenting, Sibling Incest, Size Kink, Werewolf Culture, Werewolf Mates, Werewolves, angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:21:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24749041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: Rey has always been the golden child of her family, but as her older brother Ben matures, their dynamic begins to shift.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 631
Kudos: 1368





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> good incest fics needs build up so this won't be short LOL
> 
> rey is 11 and ben is 16 when this starts but nothing will happen sexually until rey is probably 15?

“Mom, Ben won’t bring me to Friendly’s!”

There’s a loud shout from the kitchen that mingles with the quick thump of Rey’s feet down the stairs. Her brother is trying to ditch her again even though mom says he _has_ to bring her to Friendly’s for ice cream, and she isn’t going to let him get away.

He’s standing at the door shrugging into his leather jacket and she leaps, flinging herself from the last stair, wrapping her skinny arms around his neck and legs around his waist. Ben staggers forward, spitting a curse and dropping his keys. He smells like cheap cologne and when she hides her face in his neck she smells cigarettes.

“Ben is _smoking_!” Rey shouts as he twists around trying to dislodge her. “Mom! _Mooom_!”

“Little piece of shit!” he snaps.

“Benjamin, don’t you call your sister a piece of shit!” Mom shouts. She’s on the phone with someone, working like always. “If I catch you with a cigarette again you’re grounded for six months!”

Rey cackles just before Ben manages to pry her off his back. She loses her grip and falls on her butt on the front hall carpet, promptly whacking her head off the banister. Ouch. Ow.

Ben drops another curse and crouches. “Fuck, sorry—don’t cry, don’t cry. Don’t tell mom.”

He’s fuzzy but she can make out his panicked expression—two of ‘em, in fact. Rey blinks hard and laughs instead. Pain has never bothered her.

“Bring me,” she demands, sitting up and sagging woozily a couple seconds later.

“What the hell is going on out there?!”

Ben winces at mom’s yell and huffs. He runs a hand through his long black hair and picks Rey up when she outstretches her arms. Yes, yes. Mom’s rules. He has to bring her on all his stupid dates.

He hoists her up like he used to when she was little, setting her on his hip and muttering about how annoying she is. Rey beams and nuzzles his neck. His skin is always hot. Salty.

“We’ll be home by nine,” Ben calls, swiping his keys off the floor.

“Eight,” mom corrects.

“Eight-ish,” he mutters. He’s already halfway out the door and Rey doesn’t catch what mom says in return.

Before Ben turned thirteen, he used to play with Rey all the time. He swings her around the same way he did back then, pulling open the back door of his old Mustang and tossing her inside like a sack of potatoes. She giggles when he slams the door shut but he doesn’t smile like he used to.

Now he’s sixteen. He has a car and goes out to see girls a lot—and he’s always in a bad mood.

She sits upright, straightening her Aeropostale T-shirt and pushing the flyaways from her face. Ben gets in the driver’s seat and starts the engine.

“You’re a fucking brat,” he snaps. He pushes a cassette in the dash. “I shouldn’t have to bring you on dates.”

“Only ‘cause mom caught you with your tongue down Bazine’s throat. Dummy.”

He shifts gears and peels out of the driveway, flinging Rey into the door. She scowls.

“I’m not a fucking time bomb.” Ben rolls down his window and leans over to open the glovebox. He rummages around and takes out a cigarette. “We were just making out—I’m not gonna…”

Light flashes. His hand is shielding the cigarette, trembling a little, then he tosses the lighter in the glovebox. Ugh. Rey crinkles her nose and hurries to roll down her crank window. Gross. Miss Graziano just went over how bad cigarettes are in health class.

“Those have _cyanide_ in them,” Rey snips.

“I’ve gotta get laid.” Ben roughly shifts gears and takes off, flinging Rey to the other side of the backseat. “I can’t do this shit forever. I’m not a fucking monk, and that pack grandpa runs with has a couple girls maturing.”

She scrambles to sit up, breathless. “Maybe they don’t like you because your little sister had to teach you how to transform into a—”

He throws a sharp growl her way; his weird deep warning ever since he ‘matured.’ He’s only five years older but acts like he’s a big tough wolf like grandpa, even though _she_ had to show him how to transform. It isn’t in Ben’s blood like it’s in hers—grandpa says she’s a keystone in the pack, whatever that means.

Sometimes when Ben is a jerk Rey likes reminding him of it. Still not sure what it means but it must be good.

She bares her teeth and growls back at her brother. He’s not the boss of her. Ever. Even if her growl is kinda wimpy compared to his, she’s not scared. She’s a keystone. Not like the beer dad drinks.

Ben glares at her in the rearview mirror. His eyes are dark and angry and sad but she doesn’t know why because he never talks to her anymore.

“I liked you better three years ago,” he says.

“Right back at you.”

The rest of the drive goes by in silence until Ben turns up his shitty screamo music. Sometimes a street lamp spills orange light into the back seat across Rey’s crossed arms and she hurriedly wipes the tears from her eyes before her jerk brother sees them.

It’s easier to be mean back at him. She’s tried being nice and he always shoots her down; always makes her feel dumb for missing how close they used to be. He would walk her to school and make her lunch, and once she might’ve transformed to chase off a couple boys bullying him. Her wolf is bigger, last she knew. Maybe that’s why he’s mad.

He’s just jealous.

Ben pulls up to the Friendly’s and parks near the side of the building. He cuts the engine and turns off the music, still silently smoking his cigarette.

“You know it doesn’t matter if I smoke, right?”

Rey sniffles and nods. Yes. She’s broken half the bones in her body running around being reckless and they always heal.

He exhales out the window. It curls into the cold November night.

“I’m not gonna get sick like dad did.”

“I know,” she hisses. She wipes her eyes, swallowing a lump. “He’s fine anyway. I don’t care. Do whatever you want.”

Ben heaves a sigh and flicks his cigarette out the window. He rolls it up and picks up his phone from center console, illuminating the sleeve of his leather jacket. Grandpa got it for him for Christmas. He gave Rey grandma Padme’s ring, and she wears it around her neck on a silver chain everywhere she goes.

He rubs his mouth and tosses the phone back in the console. “Come on. I told Baz I’ll meet her tomorrow.”

Rey perks up and he rolls his eyes. His door creaks when it opens and he comes around to open hers. Really? Just them?

Ben slams the door shut, groaning when she hugs him around the waist. She clings and refuses to let go so he’s forced to lock the car and slowly, stiffly walk to the front door with her wrapped around his leg.

Rey smiles, squeezing tighter. Sucks to be Bazine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀👀🐺

Menarche comes when Rey turns twelve. It’s a big deal, and she gets to have a party with some of the other girls from Grandpa Anakin’s pack.

It’s summertime so they have a bonfire in the backyard, but the werewolf girls aren’t like Rey’s friends at school. There are only three of them around her age: Mona is eleven, Jackie is fifteen, and Rory is thirteen. They’re quiet. They sit in a tight group near the fire, wearing matching green dresses, watching Rey dancing around.

“Grandpa!” she calls. “Look! I can do a cartwheel!”

Some older wolves came to the party to celebrate and they all clap when Rey tumbles across the soft grass. Grandpa is the leader: he’s older and stern and doesn’t smile very often. Not since grandma died and Uncle Luke left the pack.

But Anakin smiles when she lands her cartwheel and spins in a circle. He claps. He’s sitting in a white lawn chair talking to Ben a ways away from the glimmering fire, pointing to one of the girls sitting near it. Ben rubs his jaw and nods. He’s gotten even taller over the last year. Doesn’t go see girls much.

Rey catches her breath and rolls a couple more cartwheels. The girls watch her and don’t say anything, so she gets bored and runs over to see what grandpa and her brother are talking about.

“None of them are a good match,” grandpa says, shaking his head. He smiles and extends his arms to help Rey into his lap. “Oof—you’re getting too big for this, dear.”

Rey tries curling up her legs but it doesn’t really help. Ben rolls his eyes and goes back to staring at the girls. He’s moody because grandpa likes her better.

She turns and smiles up at him. “Did mom tell you I can turn into a real werewolf now? Not just a _wolf_ , like some people.”

“Yes, Leia told me. I’m very proud of you, Rey, but let’s not forget that not everyone learns as quickly as you do.” Anakin kisses her forehead.

Rey smiles smugly, glancing at her brother. Ben is glaring at the fire and sipping his drink.

“Am I gonna come join the pack now?” Rey chirps.

“…Not yet.” Grandpa pats her leg when she groans. “I know, I know, but there’s no one suitable for my granddaughter yet. We’ll see how things are in a year or two.”

“Who cares?” Ben snaps. “She’s a fucking brat.”

Fire crackles, spitting into the air, and Rey hops off grandpa’s lap with her fists balled. Blood burns.

“What did you just say?” she spits.

Ben sits upright. Light dances in his dark eyes and he bares his teeth. She bares hers back. It’s humid and sticky and she’s still full of hot dogs dad grilled. He left when grandpa came.

“You’re a _brat_ ,” Ben repeats, “and no one is ever going to want you.”

“Ben!” grandpa rebukes, but it’s too late.

Rey transforms. Her nice overalls rip to shreds and she’s lunging for her brother before she realizes it, black jaw spread—she’s _angry_ ; angrier than she’s ever been. Killing him flashes through her head. He’s rude. He’s mean. It’s her birthday and he can’t even be nice to her for one day.

Ben rolls out of the way as she crashes through the plastic chair, smashing it to bits. Grandpa moves as Ben transforms too, rippling, clothes tearing into a big white wolf with tinges of black; a little bigger than Rey. She hasn’t seen him this way in a while but he stomps a foot and roars and she doesn’t care if he’s bigger. She’ll still win like she always used to.

They collide in a flurry of snarls and scratching paws. Rey knocks him over a table of drinks and Ben rolls into the side of the porch, twisting and clambering back to his feet. Her thoughts race as he charges her—she edges a step back but slams into him when he leaps, snapping his jaws.

No one stops them. Fighting is part of being a wolf, but Ben seems different this time.

The girls scatter from the fire just before Rey almost rolls into it. Ben bites her hard on the shoulder, drawing a pained yelp that’s supposed to tell him to stop. Ouch, ouch. Too much.

He bites until she squeals and kicks his feet out from under him. It’s just enough time for her to scramble away, ears pinned, limping—but he rounds on her again with his teeth bared. Her heart races and she bows her head, licking her gums. She’s done. She always stops when he yelps.

Fire makes the black tips of Ben’s fur glow. He looks big, and scary, and Rey tries to shrink to let him know she’s done fighting. She bows her head, whimpering, too scared to transform yet.

He lunges, tackling her into the bushes. Sharp teeth sink into the thick silvery black fur at her nape and Rey squeals again, paws kicking out, but Ben growls and bites and pushes a paw on her side. He pushes her down every time she struggles until she finally gives up; gives in. She goes still, chest heaving, eyes wide and searching. Terrified.

No one says anything.

Rey lies there until her brother lets off, then she quickly transforms into a human. Everyone is watching silently and she’s naked and her stupid brother just pinned her down on her birthday.

She stares up at him in terror, curled up in the cracked bushes, and he stares back at her. Her whole body trembles with something new; something instinctual. Since when is Ben the boss of her?

Mom hurries over with a towel and tries to help Rey up, but she’s too scared to move. She’s frozen until dad lumbers over, then she bursts into tears and reaches out for him. Good. Dad’s home. He smells faintly of beer but that’s nothing new.

“Christ,” he mutters. He wraps her in the towel and scoops her into his arms. “Her neck is bleeding. I’m bringing her to the hospital.”

“No need, Han.”

Grandpa is standing on the porch watching, head tilted. His hands are clasped behind his back.

Dad hugs her closer. “Get these fucking people out of here, Leia. They’re not gone when I get back and I’m taking Rey somewhere else for the night.”

“You bit your sister!” mom snaps, rounding on Ben. He’s still a wolf. Still watching. She slaps his shoulder. “What the _hell_ , Ben?! You could’ve killed her!”

“Just part of the process,” grandpa calls softly.

“He’s twice her size!” mom retorts.

Rey shivers miserably while dad carries her through the house to her bedroom for clothes. Mom shouts and soon Ben’s shouting joins in, but it’s drowned out once they’re in dad’s truck.

He pulls on her seatbelt. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re gonna be okay.” He kisses her temple and turns on the truck, then cranks the A/C. “Your mother better get that fucking cult out of my house before we get back. We’re gonna go on a little weekend vacation if she doesn’t.”

“We are?” Rey rasps. Her neck hurts. Bad. Better not to move.

“Yup. Told her this shit was a bad idea.”

She swallows, sniffling and hiccuping. Spending the weekend hanging out with dad doesn’t sound so bad. It’s better than having to see her stupid brother.

—•—

Mom doesn’t get grandpa and the other werewolves out of the house, so Rey gets to spend the weekend fishing with dad. They have a lot of fun like they always do, especially without Ben there to complain about the black flies and the heat.

Her neck isn’t badly hurt; just some shallow punctures from Ben’s fangs. The doctor gives her Neosporin and seems unconvinced when dad tells him she got bit by a stray dog. She gets a tetanus shot after that but dad persuades them not to give her rabies shots.

They come home Monday morning with a couple trout. Mom is waiting on the porch in her blue robe and Rey runs up to hug her, wheezing at how tight mom hugs her back. Her eyes are teary when she lets go and waves to dad. He’s getting the stuff from the bed of the truck and doesn’t wave back.

“Your brother went to stay with grandpa for a couple weeks,” mom says, wiping her eyes. “We thought it would be good to give you two some space.”

Rey huffs. Good. He’s a jerk.

She heads inside and kicks off her shoes, running through the house to make sure Ben is really gone. She’s got the whole place to herself.

As she passes his bedroom she picks up a weird smell that makes her mouth tingle. Rey pauses, sniffing the air and backpedaling. Weird. What’s that?

“No, Leia; I’m not gonna watch my son kill my daughter!”

Dad is raising his voice. It’s so weird that Rey forgets the smells and races to the landing to listen.

“They’re werewolves, Han,” mom snaps. “Luke and I fought when we were kids, too.”

“And where’s Luke now? Gone. Left behind that fucked-up cult, and you should, too. Anakin lets these kids fight and fuck and it isn’t right—you know he’s been filling Ben’s head with this weird shit for ages. See him watching that poor girl? Fucked up, Leia.”

“Menarche just means maturity. It doesn’t mean anyone is going to mate, and I already told dad that Rey isn’t going anywhere until she finishes school.”

They move to the formal dining room and their voices get muffled enough that Rey can’t hear. She sits on the landing for a while and looks around for Ben. He always sits with her when they argue.

She picks at the dirt under her nails. Growing up sucks so far.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long I’m having health issues argghhhh

Three months later, Ben comes home.

School has started again and Rey comes racing down the driveway after the bus drops her off. She’s so excited to see him that her hands keep transforming into paws, and she struggles with the front door, growling and scratching and waving her hand until it shifts back. I’m She missed him more than she thought she would but he’s home now. _Finally._

Rey drops her backpack at the door like she always does and kicks off her shoes. Voices float down the hall—Ben’s is distinct, deep and slow, and she beams. It’s nice to hear him again. He didn’t call or anything while he was gone but mom said grandpa had him busy.

She peers around the doorway and sees him sitting at the table with mom and dad. Mom smiles and Ben looks over his shoulder.

His hair is cut short, just barely covering his ears, and his arms look bigger. Rey braces herself for an angry greeting, since their fight got him sent away for three whole months, but Ben just smiles instead. He’s wearing shorts and a T-shirt she doesn’t recognize. She knows all his clothes.

Still, she lingers by the doorway until he breaks into a wider smile and opens an arm for her. Her lower lip wobbles and Rey races across the kitchen, flinging herself into his lap and throwing her arms around his neck. She accidentally knocks the table back and mom groans when her wine is spilled but Rey doesn’t really care. Ben is home—and he smells nice.

Really nice.

Rey frowns, shamelessly burying her face in his neck. Usually Ben shoves her away when she grabs onto him but this time he hugs her closer, adjusting her so her legs drape off his lap and his arm looped around her back supports her. He cups the back of her head and lets her smell him.

“Affectionate,” dad mutters.

“It’s just a greeting, Han,” mom says mildly. “She’s been prowling around your bedroom since you left, Ben. It’s good to have you home.”

Ben rests his cheek on Rey’s head and she breaks down into sobs. It’s her fault he got sent away for the entire summer. She’s never going to fight with him again.

He hugs her tighter, then he’s standing, easily sweeping her up like he always does. Used to. He hasn’t carried her in a long time.

“Don’t cry,” Ben murmurs.

“I’m s-s-sorry!” Rey wails, smearing tears and whatever else on his neck. “I missed you so… so much—I’m sorry!”

He grabs her backpack off the floor, still supporting her with one arm. He bit her but she deserved it; she was being a pushy jerk and like mom said, that’s just how werewolves fight. She’s won plenty of their other fights, anyway. Ben can have one.

He carries her upstairs to her bedroom. It’s nice, like when he used to when she was little, and she gets a hold of herself when he sits on the edge of her bed. Ben helps her shift in his lap so he can wipe her face with broad, gentle strokes of his fingers. He hasn’t done that in a long time, either.

Rey sniffles, grasping his wrists. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. Grandpa had some things to show me, anyway.”

“…Oh.” She nods, bobbing back when he cleans off her cheek. “Did you have fun?”

Ben doesn’t answer. He doesn’t apologize for biting her, either. He hugs her tight again and offers to take her out for ice cream, though.

—•—

Things start feeling normal again, even though Ben decides to drop out of high school. Mom is pissed but dad thinks it’s great and shows him all kinds of trade school ideas. Mom says he still needs a diploma.

They argue all week about it. By Friday, Rey really needs a break and Rose invites her for a sleepover. They’re gonna have chips and make slutty brownies and watch _Mean Girls_ and it’s gonna be great. Paint their nails. It should be fun and then she doesn’t have to listen to mom yelling all weekend.

She’s packing after school Friday, rummaging through her pajama drawer for something that matches, when someone knocks on her door. Rey turns and brightens at the sight of her brother standing there. He smiles back, only slightly.

“Going out?” he asks.

“Yeah, Rose invited me over for the weekend. Mom said I can go.”

“Rose…?”

Rey raises her eyebrows. “Rose Tico? My best friend since forever?” She rolls her eyes, shaking her head as she goes back to rummaging. “Did you hit your head or something at grandpa’s?”

“Are her parents home?”

What does he care? He never asks and mom _always_ makes sure there are no boys and there’s adult supervision. Dad says she’s an expert at sneaking out and she knows all the tricks.

Rey looks back at Ben and nods once, irritated, then slowly returns to her drawer. Score—plain pink pajamas from Christmas last year. That’ll work. She throws them in her backpack and zips it up.

Ben watches, arms folded over his chest. He’s been helping dad work on cars and he’s a little sweaty.

“You sure?” he asks.

“Oh my god, _yes_!” Rey snaps, slipping her backpack over her shoulder. “It’s none of your business, anyway!”

“Everything you do is my business.”

Ben’s voice is deep and cold and serious. Rey thumbs her backpack strap, eyeing him unsurely, and he doesn’t bat an eye. He stares. It feels like a challenge, but she doesn’t want to fight and get him sent away again—and something tells her this will turn into a fight if she keeps arguing.

She huffs. “Fine. Go ask mom. I’ll be back Sunday.”

“Text me when you get there.”

“I always text _mom_.”

“Text me when you get there,” he repeats, slower and icier. It makes Rey shiver.

Annoyed, she brushes roughly past him on her way out. Ben comes out to the porch and watches her walk down the street, so she runs faster.

—•—

Ben texts five times that night.

It’s annoying and weird. Rey scowls when she gets his fifth text, lying in a sleeping bag a few feet away from Rose fast asleep and snoring. He doesn’t even say anything, just: _Rey._

_Stepbrothers_ flickers on the bedroom TV, plates and empty chip bags strewn around the floor and up on the bed. They had a lot of fun—Rey painted her nails green—but the texts from Ben kind of spoiled the fun. He’s never been weird like this. What’s his problem?

> **Today** 9:49 PM
> 
> You were supposed to text me, Rey.
> 
> okay mom  
>  **Read** 9:50 PM

She drops her phone on her stomach and rolls her eyes. He’s not the boss of her. Does he think because he went away to grandpa’s he’s the _boss_ now? It’s good that he’s home but Ben isn’t the _boss._

Her phone vibrates a couple seconds later. Rey groans and waits a long minute before checking.

> Do what you’re told, Rey.

Anger immediately prickles up the nape of her neck and burns down her arms. Her lip curls.

> what’s your problem??? U can’t tell me what to do and it’s none of ur business
> 
> Everything you do is my business.

Rey squeezes her phone and throws it across the bedroom. Can’t transform here, and she doesn’t want to risk getting in a fight with Ben and him being sent away again. He’s just being pushy, but usually he’s pushier in springtime when his hormones go out of wack. Maybe they’re out of wack now.

She rolls over to go to sleep but her phone vibrates, waking her right up. Rey glares at the wall, Rose mumbling in her sleep. He’s being so, _so_ annoying. If he’s still being a jerk she’s going to go home and kick his ass. This isn’t the way things work. She’s always been bigger and better and Ben has always been a couple steps behind.

But something makes her crawl to her phone resting on the floor near the door. Something. She picks it up and her heart skips a beat.

> I love you, Rey.  
> More than anything.
> 
> then go awayyyyy  
>  **Read** 10:13 PM
> 
> I can’t.

She stares at the message, chewing her nails absentmindedly until she tastes polish. When’s the last time he said he loved her? He hasn’t been big on positive emotional stuff for a long time. Definitely mad and sad all the time, though.

Rey shuts off her phone before she goes to sleep. There’s something weird going on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t want to give anything away, and Ben and Rey won’t have sex until she’s at least 15, but in the meantime be prepared for kissing/heavy petting. Rey is 12 rn, and there is no heavy petting (likely when she’s 14). just so everyone knows

Rey manages to avoid her brother when she comes home Sunday. He’s sitting in the living room watching TV and she sneaks upstairs to hide in her bedroom for the rest of the afternoon, kind of nervous and unsettled. He’s being really weird.

She gets up the next morning for school, hoping to slip away without Ben noticing, but he’s waiting for her in the kitchen. He made her a lunch and everything, and he’s dressed, holding his car keys. He smells nice.

“I’ll drive you,” he says. It’s not a suggestion.

Rey snatches her pink lunch box and peers inside. “Mom always makes me peanut butter and fluff.”

“You don’t need fluff. It’s nothing but sugar.”

“Well I _like it_ , Ben.”

She looks up, scowling, and finds him already staring at her. Something makes her skin prickle—his eyes seem deep and scary and she decides to drop it. Fine, she’ll eat plain peanut butter like a weirdo.

They walk out into the cold morning. Ben’s Mustang has been sitting around since he left to stay with grandpa and it’s nice to be riding around in it again. They took it when he brought her out for ice cream, and Ben did a couple repairs with dad.

Rey hops into the passenger seat, shivering. “So are you gonna go back to school?”

Ben gets in the driver’s seat. He passes a hand through his hair and shakes his head, gunning the engine.

“Don’t need to,” he says.

“Yeah you do. You’ll work at McDonald’s forever if you don’t.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll be a mechanic like dad.”

“Well it’s gonna be super embarrassing if you drop out of school,” Rey snaps. “You’re almost done anyway.”

Ben shifts into reverse, casually setting a hand on the back of Rey’s headrest as he pulls out of the driveway. He smiles and she scoffs and looks away. Stupid.

It’s light out by the time they pull up to the drop-off pull around at school. Rose is waiting on the steps and waves like crazy when she sees Rey, and Poe Dameron is standing there, too. Weird. Usually he’s hanging out with his new girlfriend.

“Who is he?”

Rey pauses with her hand on the door, glancing at her brother. Ben is leaning over, eyes faintly green as he studies her small group of friends.

“Um… Poe?” She hesitates. “And Rose?”

Ben doesn’t blink. “What’s his deal? He looks older than you.”

“He’s in eighth grade but he’s friends with Finn so he’s been hanging around.”

“Why is he hanging around sixth graders?”

“I don’t know,” Rey snaps, irritated. She opens her door. “Quit being so weird.”

Before she can get out, Ben grabs her forearm.

It’s surprising and a little scary, and Rey instinctively tugs. He’s looking at her now, dark eyes glowing brighter green like he’s about to transform. She shrinks against the half-open door, anxiety shivering down her spine.

“No boys.” He’s quiet, voice soft, but with an edge. His grip tightens. “Got it?”

Rey nods, and she rips her arm free the second his hand relaxes. She stumbles out onto the sidewalk and doesn’t look back.

—•—

Snow comes the following week.

Tons of it falls on Monday morning and that means Rey gets to stay home from school. She watches on the TV until the closure is announced then books down to the basement to find her snowsuit. _Finally._ She’s gonna make a real igloo this year.

While she’s rummaging through a box it strikes her—she’s a werewolf. She doesn’t need a snowsuit.

Rey books back upstairs, barreling through the kitchen past mom and dad and Ben having breakfast, and flings open the sliding glass door. She transforms as she hurls herself out into the cold, squealing with delight that morphs into a high pitched bark.

She rolls around, yapping and kicking her legs, and mom shouts at her to shut the door. Rey pants and twists over on all fours, shoving her face in the snow and snorting to make it blow high in the air. She wags her tail and when she rolls over on her back again, Ben is standing there watching her.

He’s still in human form, snow gently settling in his black hair. He closes the sliding door behind him and keeps his eyes on Rey as he transforms, casually walking down the steps in the process. How does he do that? It’s always really sudden when she does it.

Ben’s wolf form is bigger than before—it’s always getting bigger—still white fur with black tips that makes him look like he shimmers. His eyes glow green as he advances toward Rey, and she quickly hops to her feet, shying away. When did he get so big?

Ben cocks his head, nodding toward the fence at the back end of the yard. Rey cocks her head, too. What? Is he telling her to leave?

He pads a few steps through the drifts in that direction, then looks over his shoulder at her. Only the alpha of the pack (which is grandpa) or bonded pairs can do the mind talking thing, so Rey has to rely on body language to figure out what he’s saying.

She follows a couple steps, still unsure. Ben turns back to her and she shrinks back as he approaches. Is he going to bite her?

But he nuzzles under her jaw, huffing through his mouth, winding up under her ear and nipping playfully. Rey blinks as her brother bounds away a couple steps, ears perked and tail wagging—he hasn’t played with her in a really long time. Not since the last time she pinned him.

He barks. It’s deep and shivers in Rey’s bones. When did he start barking like that? But she _really_ wants to play, and since Ben is inviting her…

She twitches her head to the side, barking back and flattening her front to the cold snow, wagging her tail. Ben barks again, jerking another step closer to the fence before he suddenly takes off for it.

“Please be careful!” comes mom’s voice, but Rey barely pays attention.

She bolts after Ben. He clears the fence in one graceful leap and she follows right behind him, but the top grazes the bottom of her belly. There’s a big field and some woods behind the house where they used to play all the time, and the memories come rushing back the minute Rey lands. Ben wants to play. He never wants to play.

Birds flutter out of their path as they race toward the field. Rey’s breath curls into the air, lungs drawing in deep cold gusts, and she lets her tongue loll out of her mouth, digging in harder, trying to catch her brother.

They break into the field. Deer lift their heads and take off into the thick trees, and Ben spins around just in time for Rey to tackle him to the ground.

He rolls with her, and they kick up a thick spray of snow and dirt. Rey twists around hoping to grab the back of his neck in her jaws, but Ben keeps turning, using his weight to pin her on her stomach underneath him. Fear flutters in her belly but he just lightly bites her nape and steps away. Teasing this time—not dominating.

Rey scrambles to her feet, panting, tail wagging so hard she thinks it might fly off. She barks and bounces back a couple steps, shaking her head, then charges at Ben again.

He dodges with a slight sidestep. Rey flies into the snow, tumbling a couple feet before she sits bolt upright, tongue hanging out. Huh. He’s quick now.

She tries knocking him over a couple more times but he always dodges. Panting, Rey decides to take a breather after her hundredth attempt, when she senses Ben coming up behind her.

He bites her nape like he did earlier. It’s gentle but firm and she decides not to complain about it—he _is_ winning, and the winner bites the neck. Ben holds her there for a long minute before he releases, then he starts licking where he bit her, angling his snout around so he can lick her face, too. Eww.

Rey barks and twists on her back beneath him, playfully swiping her paws at his face. Ben growls softly and resumes licking her like she needs a bath or something. His tongue is kind of rough and she whines and lies on her side, burying her face in the snow. Gross. What the heck is he doing?

She tolerates it for a few more minutes before bounding away, barking a challenge to her brother. But now Ben is staring at her, licking his lips, and it seems like he doesn’t want to play anymore.

He jerks his head toward the house. Ugh. Already?

Rey whines and barks back at him. They’ve only been outside for a little while. Sure her paws are kinda cold but she can play for at least—

_n ow … Re y …_

Ben’s voice cuts through her excitement like a splash of cold water. Rey snorts, eyes widening, and she blinks rapidly in shock. It’s… it’s so _loud._ Is that Ben? Only grandpa can do that, and since she’s not part of the pack yet she shouldn’t be able to hear him.

She sways on her feet, too stunned to move. Her legs feel like jelly. Why does his voice sound so rough?

Ben is staring at her, unflinching. He nods toward the house again, but when he turns to walk away Rey barks irately after him. Why did he do that? _How_ did he do that? Grandpa should be showing _her_ this stuff since she would make a better alpha.

Ben looks back at her. She glares, then his voice jolts through her like a bolt of lightning.

_i nsi de Re y … n ow …_ He’s staring, unblinking. _y ou are … c ol d_

It seizes her in a vice for a couple seconds. When he slips away she collapses to the ground, whimpering in fear and confusion. What is that? What is he doing?

Ben cocks his head. He ambles over to her, leaving big paw prints in his wake, and circles around to lie beside her in the snow. Rey squirms, distressed, scared, and Ben gives her a few encouraging licks on the cheek before using his weight to push her upright.

She staggers to her feet, stumbling like she did as a puppy. Ben stands beside her so she can lean against his ribs until she gets her footing, then he nods again towards the house, and Rey decides not to question him. She doesn’t want to hear his voice rattling around in her skull anymore.

Mom is waiting at the door with blankets and clean clothes, holding her phone between her ear and shoulder. Rey goes up the steps first and transforms, shivering as mom wraps a blanket around her, and she hears Ben transform behind her.

“Put some _clothes_ on, Ben!” mom snaps. “No one wants to see your… business!”

Rey doesn’t look back. She rushes up to her bedroom and gets changed into warm pajamas, still trembling. Should she say something to mom? Can mom do anything? It seems more and more like mom and dad don’t have any control over Ben.

There’s a knock on her door, and before she can ask who it is, Ben opens the door. He’s wearing a black T-shirt and basketball shorts and smiles a little as he steps inside. He closes the door behind him.

Can’t she get some space? He sits next to her on her bed and she studies her hands, pinkish from the cold. He’s always hanging around now.

“You okay?” he asks.

She nods.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He clasps his big hands between his knees. “Sorry if I was loud.”

“It’s okay,” Rey mutters.

Quiet follows. Ben is right next to her. He’s hot, and he must be wearing his new cologne. She smells it everywhere now and it makes her stomach tight for some reason. Maybe she’s allergic.

She peers up at Ben, wringing her hands in her lap. He stares back at her and his smile slowly fades. His dark eyes draw her in, swallowing her whole.

“I love you,” he says. His throat bobs. “So much.”

Rey frowns, tilting her head, then Ben leans in.

He kisses her, right on the lips, lingering until Rey jerks away in shock. Her mouth tingles and heat swells in her head and she stares up at her brother, too shocked to feel anything. What? Why…?

Ben searches her face. His hands are still in his lap as he kisses her again, this time a little longer, and Rey balls her fists. Blood pounds in her ears.

Then Ben abruptly pulls away. His expression gradually shifts, eyes widening as his lips part—shock and confusion, just like her.

He stands up. “Holy… _shit_. Holy shit.”

Rey stays on her bed, watching him run a hand through his hair, shaking his head. He’s trembling like she is and he turns in a circle before he starts pacing. His eyes are really wide.

“Oh god—oh my god—” Ben clenches his jaw and rubs his eyes, but tears are already coming down his cheeks. “No, no, no—no, no—”

He shapeshifts violently. Rey squeals as he stumbles into her bed, grabbing the edge with a clawed hand. He’s all werewolf now—Ben can turn into a werewolf. Did grandpa teach him that?

He shoves away from her bed, collapsing on the floor, and knocks her door down in his hurry to run. It crashes into the hallway and Ben is gone in the next blink of an eye, following some shouting downstairs and the sound of glass shattering.

Rey races downstairs, heart pounding. Mom and dad are in the kitchen staring at the shattered sliding door, blood all over the floor and the porch.

It leads to a red trail through the snow framed by giant paw prints. Ben is nowhere to be seen.


	5. Chapter 5

Ben goes away even longer this time.

Months pass before grandpa gives mom any updates, and he’s vague and doesn’t let Rey talk to Ben. She bounces on the balls of her feet and reaches for the phone but mom shakes her head and goes to the living room. Ugh.

It’s hard—confusing. Some days Rey thinks she imagined him kissing her and those days are easier, but then she remembers he kissed her _twice_ and denial isn’t so easy. It’s hard to forget him leaning in and shushing her and the way he lingered.

The months meld together until her thirteenth birthday comes. Ben isn’t coming to visit and that puts a damper on the party she has with her friends from school. It sucks, honestly. She really wants to talk to him. See him. Her stomach always gets tight when she walks by his empty bedroom.

“Rey—come open presents!”

It’s a warm summer night just like last year, but there’s no grandpa and no weird wolf girls. Everyone is waiting for her near the pile of presents: Rose, Finn, Poe, Kaydel, Oola, and Snap. There’s a bonfire and they’re all full of s’mores and it should be a good birthday, but Rey just feels vaguely sad.

She smiles and takes her seat at the picnic table between Rose and Poe. Mom takes a picture with flash, and Rey scowls up at her.

“Sorry, honey,” she apologizes.

First she opens her present from Rose: cool stickers and a new journal with constellations on the front, and some really nice gel pens. She’s been really into drawing this year and gets a lot of cool art supplies; even an expensive watercolor set from Poe. He smiles and shrugs when she thanks him, stuttering a little from surprise. He didn’t have to do that.

Poe doesn’t have to do a _lot_ of the stuff he does for her. Rose thinks he likes Rey, which would be weird, because Poe is fifteen. That’s how old Ben was when grandpa first took him away.

Rey rolls her new pink gel pen between her fingertips. It’s her fault Ben ever left home in the first place, and he told her ‘no boys,’ so she’ll stay away from boys.

Mom eventually leaves them alone to hang out and make more s’mores by the fire. All the girls are sleeping over but obviously none of the guys are allowed. Rey kind of can’t wait for them to leave. Boys are so annoying.

Oola nudges Rey with her elbow. Finn and Poe are wrestling a couple feet away in the grass and Snap is laughing while Rose hisses at them to cut it out.

“Poe said he’ll come pick us up around midnight,” Oola whispers. “His parents aren’t home and they have a bunch of beer at the house.”

“Oh.” Rey shrugs, curling a strand of hair behind her ear. “You can go without me. I’m kinda tired.”

“For real? Poe said he really wants you to go.”

Rey glances up. He’s watching her, kneeling on the grass beside Finn who’s lying on his back with his arms stretched out. Poe smiles and winks and she quickly looks back at her lap. Weird. He’s always staring at her and it makes her chest flutter.

“I shouldn’t,” she says. “My mom has ears like a _bat_.”

“I’ll get us out.” Oola grins and passes a hand through her blonde hair. “I’m a pro.”

She gives Poe and Finn a thumbs-up. This is a bad idea. Oola is always getting them into trouble at school. She argues with the teachers and—

Voices come from behind Rey, sudden and sharp. She frowns and turns as the sliding door opens.

Mom is right behind Ben—it’s Ben, somehow taller, somehow _bigger_ —he’s wearing a blue flannel shirt and his hair is long, voice deep, and he’s giving mom one of his impatient lopsided smiles. She’s scowling and whispering urgently and glances at Rey.

Her smile comes back as she grabs Ben’s elbow. He raises an eyebrow.

“Rey, honey,” mom says, “we have a surprise visitor. He’s going to be inside, since you’re playing with your friends right now.”

He doesn’t look away from mom for a long minute, still smiling, but tense. Then his dark eyes move straight to Rey and she scrambles to her feet. It’s been such a long time. He’s so tall, and he’s not wearing black. That’s weird.

Ben purses his lips, nodding. He passes a hand through his long black hair to loop it in a ponytail, gently pulling his arm free of mom’s grasp.

“We’ll be inside,” he agrees. His gaze wanders across the group and he smirks as he turns. “Play with your friends.”

They go back inside.

Rey stares for a minute after they’re gone, and everyone slowly goes back to talking. She clears her throat and mutters ‘be right back’ and rushes inside after Ben and mom. Ben is here—he’s really here. She didn’t just imagine that.

Mom is hissing at him when she comes in but immediately stops and breaks into another fake smile. Ben is leaning on the island, arms crossed. He glances up and smiles, and Rey pauses at the door. It’s really him. Why is mom so mad that he’s home? Does she know that they…

Shame keeps Rey frozen to the spot. She’s been dreaming of this for months but all those weird emotions come creeping back. What if mom knows Ben kissed her? What if _dad_ knows? He’s away on a fishing trip thankfully but… what if he _knows_?

Ben raises his eyebrows. He’s staring, she thinks. Right through her.

“What?” He pouts his lower lip. “No hug?”

“Ben is going straight back to grandpa’s,” mom interrupts. She glares at Ben. “Isn’t that right?”

“Why?”

Rey’s voice cracks. He’s going back? Why? Why does grandpa keep taking him away?

Ben clicks his tongue, straightening up. He rubs his nose and doesn’t look her in the eye.

“Wolf stuff,” he says.

“But…” Rey swallows, shuffling closer. “When are you coming home?”

“I’m going to be coming and going. Helping Anakin with the pack, mostly.”

“He’ll be home soon,” mom interjects. “Ben is going to learn welding, Rey—isn’t that interesting? And carpentry. Grandpa is teaching him all kinds of things.”

Last year mom was furious that Ben wanted to drop out of high school, and now she doesn’t seem to mind. Rey glances between the two of them, sensing something weird is going on. Ben isn’t supposed to help grandpa with the pack yet; not until he’s older. And why is he calling grandpa by his first name?

Ben smiles. His arms are still folded and his biceps look too big for his shirt. Rey twists the ball of her sneaker into the floor.

“Can I have a hug?” he asks.

Yes—she should hug him. She hesitates before trotting up to him, so nervous her ears ring, and Ben opens his arms. She’s wrapped in a hug so tight her breath comes out in a wheeze. It’s nice. He smells good, and he buries his face in her hair.

“We’ll go for a run tomorrow,” he says. His embrace softens and he fixes her hair when she’s released. “You want some more snacks for your party? I can go grab some stuff and bring the boys home.”

“Oh, they’re fine.” Mom waves him off. “I know Shara Bey and Kes. Poe is a nice boy, and so is Finn. And that Snap boy; he’s also—”

“I’ll bring the boys home.”

Ben repeats himself without missing a beat. He’s still fixing Rey’s hair and smiles when she huffs and bats his hands away. She catches mom’s surprised stare that quickly melts into an unreadable expression. She presses her lips together and turns away to wash a dish. Weird. Mom always has the last word.

Ben follows Rey outside and calls the boys. Finn and Snap come when called but Poe walks up to Rey and leans in to whisper about picking her and her friends up later.

“Meet us down the block,” he says. “I’ll be in a green Subaru, so—”

“Poe.”

Ben’s voice is deeper than normal. Rey shivers and casts a glance over her shoulder, avoiding his eyes, and Poe huffs and leaves. Poe doesn’t know that her brother has _really_ good hearing.

After the boys are gone mom helps Rey get everything set up for the sleepover in the basement: sleeping bags, tons of blankets to make a fort, Ben’s old flat screen to watch funny movies. There are bags and bags of chips and candy and Rose brought oranges for some reason.

“My mom says they’re a healthy treat,” she says.

“Does your mom think raisins are candy?” Kaydel asks, and when Rose nods she and Oola laugh.

Rey is busy setting up her sleeping bag near the futon. It should take two minutes but… for some reason, she can’t stop smoothing her hands over it and making sure it’s lying just the right way. She frowns and leans back on her thighs while Rose defends her oranges. Weird. It doesn’t feel right.

“They’re good!” Rose snaps. “You guys are so dumb sometimes!”

“I love oranges,” Rey calls distractedly. She grabs a blanket from the futon and fans it across her pink sleeping bag.

“ _See_?!” Rose crosses her arms. “It’s Rey’s party and she likes them, so!”

“That’s not a snack, Rose,” Kaydel repeats, still laughing.

The basement door opens. Everyone looks back as Ben comes down the stairs with a bag in his hand, and he touches the ceiling near the last step. He pauses, smiling at their silent staring.

“…Everything okay?” he asks.

Nodding, lots of nodding. Ben nods and meanders over with their new batch of treats: gummy bears and a couple bags of mini chocolate bars, plus Thin Mints.

Kaydel gasps and snatches the box. “Where did you get these?! They’re so good!”

“Aldi’s.” He snaps his fingers and points to Rey. “Share with my sister, Connix.”

Kaydel hands them over without another word. Rey notices _all_ her friends gawking at her brother, but he’s just watching her, smiling faintly. Weird.

“Comfy?” he asks.

Rey cocks her head, frowning—then realizes he means her sleeping bag. She nods and turns a little to check it out, cross-legged like everyone else. Yep. About as comfy as she’s going to get.

Ben grabs a green pillow off the futon and offers it to Rey. She wasn’t eyeing it before but for some reason her belly gets hot when she takes it from him.

“That should help,” he says. His searches her face, then looks at the other girls. “You all better keep it down. I need my beauty sleep.”

Giggles follow. Rey manages a smile and closes her eyes when Ben leans down to kiss the top of her head. He leaves, and she kind of wishes he stayed.

—•—

By midnight everyone is passed out except Rey.

Poe texts a few times asking if they’re coming and she glances at her snoring friends and says ‘no sorry.’ Her phone drops on her stomach and she sighs, then decides enough is enough. She should talk to Ben. It’s weird if they keep pretending he didn’t kiss her.

Rey steps lightly through the tangle of sleeping bags and bumps into the table where they were doing a puzzle earlier. She flinches, waiting for someone to wake, but nothing happens. Phew.

It’s still and quiet upstairs. Crickets chirp and the kitchen window is ajar just enough to let the breeze in. Rey folds her arms and shivers, pacing down the hallway to check the living room for Ben. He heard Poe. He probably hear Oola saying stuff about sneaking out, too.

But Ben is nowhere to be seen. He _also_ probably knows that Rey would never sneak out.

She wanders upstairs following the scent of his cologne to his bedroom. It’s strong and makes her mouth run dry, so she takes a deeper breath to figure out what the heck it is. Balsam? That’s the Christmas smell. It also smells like her skin feels after she’s been in the sun and gets a tan. Ben doesn’t tan.

Rey nudges the door with her fingertips. She shouldn’t go in his room. Mom grounded her the last time. But something pulls her in—

“Something wrong?”

She jumps. Ben is behind her and he laughs when she slaps his chest, puffing, indignant. Jeez!

“You scared me!” Rey accuses in a harsh whisper.

“Sorry,” Ben whispers back sarcastically. He’s wearing an old Aerosmith T-shirt dad gave him and sweatpants. They’re kinda low. “Which one of you bailed on sneaking out?”

Rey reddens and he laughs again. Ugh!

“Stop listening!” she hisses.

“Come on, Rey.” He rolls his eyes and pushes his door open with one hand, gesturing for her to go in. “Didn’t need any enhanced senses to figure that one out.”

He’s smiling and they’re joking and she shouldn’t feel a strange pulse of warmth from him inviting her into his bedroom—but she does. Why is this so weird?

Rey wrings her hands, peering into his bedroom. It’s dark but she can make out his bed and some furniture. All the clothes on the floor are picked up and the neatness satisfies her. He’s always been such a slob. What changed? Wolf stuff?

She looks up helplessly at Ben. It’s awkward, especially with how close they’re standing, and she averts her eyes to her hands again.

There’s a pause.

“We can talk tomorrow, Rey. Why don’t you go hang out with your friends?”

Thank god. Rey nods, still not looking up. Ben’s door creaks as he moves his hand from it to brush her hair back from her forehead. He kisses her and butterflies flap up into her throat and get lodged there but she tries not to think too much about it.

She scurries away, Ben’s eyes tracking her around the corner to the stairs. Things were better when she was the one making _him_ nervous.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took forever because Ben kissing his little sister is difficult to make semi realistic LOL

Ben wakes everyone up with breakfast the next morning: hash browns and bacon egg and cheese bagels from McDonald’s, complete with orange juice. It’s a nice surprise and all of Rey’s friends are super excited and thank him a bunch of times. He nods and waves them off before he goes out.

Rey sits cross-legged on her sleeping bag chewing her sandwich. Ben hates her friends. Why is he being so nice?

They watch movies for a couple hours before everyone’s parents come get them. Mom has to go out for a work thing and says she’ll be back for dinner, so Rey is left kinda bored for the rest of the day. It was a good birthday, though. She got to see Ben. Maybe she’ll see him again before he leaves.

She knows he’s going to leave sooner or later. Probably soon. Mom was pretty mad and surprised to see him at all.

Rey lounges on the couch watching cartoons for a while. She flips through a couple dozen channels, bored, and settles on _Spongebob._ It’s okay. Poe likes it and talks about it at school but it’s kind dumb. Usually she watches funnier stuff but mom has a bunch of the good channels blocked.

Around three the front door opens and slams shut. Rey twists to look over her shoulder and glimpses Ben storming upstairs. His door slams shut, rattling the picture frames on the walls.

She turns around. That’s pretty typical for Ben. Maybe he’s back to his usual crabby self.

Fifteen minutes go by. Rey is busy scrolling through her new Facebook when she hears Ben come downstairs, but he walks out to the kitchen instead of the living room. She listens: the fridge opens, then there’s a pop and hiss, and the fridge slams shut. Jeez. Why’s he always _slamming_ stuff?

“Can you stop being so loud?” Rey calls.

Ben doesn’t answer. Footsteps come down the hall and she rolls her eyes when he sits next to her on the couch. She doesn’t bother looking up—she smells beer. He’s drinking dad’s stuff, so he’s gonna get yelled at later.

 _Spongebob_ filters through the awkward silence. Rey pretends to be busy on her phone.

“Went to see Baz.”

Rey raises her eyebrows. “Cool.”

He smells like old man cologne. Rey adjusts her feet on the edge of the coffee table and leans her temple on her fist. Rose posted some pictures from the sleepover and they’re really nice.

Ben puts an arm over the back of the couch. He’s warm; warmer than Rey, and she senses him leaning in to snoop on her phone. She slowly looks up at him, lifting her eyebrows higher and staring. He’s really in her space and he’s just staring back at her.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

He just stares, and Rey’s belly tightens. Usually her ugly stupid brother getting in her face would make her mad, but she’s just… confused.

Ben glances at her phone. He takes a sip of his beer the same way dad does.

“Why do you have a Facebook?”

“Mom said I could.”

“You shouldn’t have a Facebook,” Ben says, more to himself than her. He shakes his head, thankfully leaning back. “You’re thirteen.”

Before she can react he grabs her phone with his hand around the back of the couch. Rey shrieks and scrambles over his lap when he holds it up in the air, so he stands, still drinking his beer while he turns in circles and she jumps up and down.

“Give it back!” she demands. She leaps but can’t grab it. “Come on! Give it _back_!”

“Someone should check what you’re doing on this thing.”

“I’m not doing anything, _Ben_! I just talk to my friends and look at memes!”

He goes upstairs and she chases him, screaming all the way. He isn’t the boss of her—what’s his problem?!

Ben fends her off with his beer arm while he reads. “Oola thinks Poe likes you, huh?”

“Cut it out!” She grapples with his thick forearm and paws at his wrist. “That’s private!”

“Does Poe know you had fleas when you were six?”

Rey stomps her foot and switches to hitting Ben instead, punches glancing off his biceps and stomach. He laughs as he walks into his bedroom and she trails a couple steps behind.

“Don’t tell him that!” she snaps. “Mom says I got them from you because… because…”

Rey is standing in Ben’s bedroom. She blinks, teetering back on her heels when she realizes where she is, and heat tingles down her arms into her fingertips. It’s weird being in here. She hasn’t been since Ben left and now it’s all neat and clean and organized and he took down his stupid band posters. Feels different now.

Smells different—like Ben’s old man cologne. It’s heavy and thick in Rey’s nose and makes her mouth run dry. Gross. Why is he spraying it everywhere?

“Because?”

Ben has his eyebrows raised like he’s waiting for an answer. Rey swallows, eyeing the far side of the room where his closet door is propped open.

“You got them from visiting grandpa’s pack and gave them to me.” Rey crosses her arms and peels her eyes away from the closet to glare up at her brother. “So _you_ gave me fleas.”

Ben laughs, shaking his head. He takes another swig of his beer and keeps scrolling through her phone.

“Yeah right.”

“That’s what mom said and I believe her over _you_.”

“So do you like Poe back, Rey?”

Her cheeks burn. What a weird question—like it’s any of his business who she has a crush on.

“Why do you care?” she snips.

“He’s fifteen and trying to get you to sneak out. That puts him pretty high on my shitlist.”

“Then try minding your own business.”

“You _are_ my business.”

Rey scoffs as Ben turns away from her, snooping and drinking his beer.

“No I’m not!” she retorts.

He ignores her. Irritated, Rey storms after him to get her phone, but Ben puts it up high on top of his dresser where she can’t reach it. She stomps her foot and balls her fists and thinks she’s really going to kick the crap out of him. It’s been too long since he got a good butt-kicking.

Ben sips his beer, smiling down at her. He’s too cocky now. He always used to be rude and sullen but now he’s cocky and rude instead.

He flicks her forehead. “How does my room look?”

Rey bristles and charges but he grabs her around the waist with one arm and swings her around, away from the dresser. She kicks her legs and hisses.

“Nothing nice to say?” Ben asks, laughing when she squirms. “I thought I did a nice job cleaning it up. Doesn’t it smell nice?”

“Screw you!”

She wriggles out of his arms, tumbling to the floor. Rey scrambles back to her feet and flees Ben’s bedroom without her phone, angry and confused and frustrated. He’s such a weirdo.

—•—

Mom calls the house and says she’s going to be late. Dad calls a little while later to say he’s on his way home but won’t be back until midnight.

“Ben there?” he asks.

Rey nods. She’s lying on the couch eating an entire can of Pringles and hasn’t spoken to Ben in a few hours. Probably lurking around here somewhere. Probably brought _fleas_ in the house again.

“Yeah,” she replies. She scowls. “He took my phone.”

“Put him on.”

Kind of an inconvenience. Rey heaves a sigh and climbs over the back of the couch with her can of Pringles, hopping up the stairs two at a time. Inconvenient, but it’s always funny when dad yells at Ben. And this time he deserves it.

“He acting weird?” Dad asks.

“Just as weird as he always is.” She rolls her eyes, trying to not think of the kiss. “He went to see Bazine earlier but I think she turned him down.”

“Yeah. He’s gonna have to marry one of those girls from Anakin’s pack.”

Rey pauses, frowning. She’s a couple steps from Ben’s door.

“Why?”

“Well—” Dad hesitates and coughs. “It’s, uh… it’s a anatomy thing. I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

Hmph. Before she can protest, Ben’s bedroom door whips open. Rey wrinkles her nose at the weird smell and thrusts the phone toward him, turning her face away with a huff.

“Dad wants you,” she sniffs.

Ben takes the phone. His voice is rough when he answers—maybe he was taking a nap—and Rey goes back downstairs to see what she can make for dinner.

There’s not much. Dad usually goes grocery shopping on the weekends but he was out this week on his trip, so Rey settles for a microwaveable bowl of mac and cheese. Maybe she’ll go with him. It’s summer break is it’s not like she has anywhere else to be.

She’s sitting on the counter kicking the cabinets with her heels when Ben comes downstairs. Pissed. He hangs up the phone and tosses Rey’s cell on the island. Thanks dad.

She hops down to grab it, sticking her tongue out. “Hope he yelled at you.”

Ben doesn’t answer. His hair is drawn back and he’s wearing a long sleeved black shirt that’s too tight, and she can see the muscles moving underneath when he raises his arms to open the freezer. Rey sticks her phone in her back pocket and lingers near the microwave. Her belly tightens, which makes her nervous.

“Dad said you have to marry one of the weird girls from the pack,” she taunts.

Ben slams the freezer shut. He tosses a bag of frozen vegetable stir fry on the counter and turns on the stove. Fine.

The microwave beeps. Rey turns to open it but Ben gets there first and throws the entire bowl in the garbage without a word.

“Hey—what the—!”

“You’re not eating that shit.” Ben takes a pan down from the rack over the island. “Go sit.”

“You gave me _McDonald’s_ for breakfast!”

“Go sit.”

 _Ugh_! Rey stomps her foot and Ben shoots her a look over his shoulder that sends her running. Jerk.

She waits impatiently in the living room until he brings her dinner with a glass of water. She doesn’t say thank you or anything, just accepts her bowl and eats it. It’s better than mac and cheese but that doesn’t change the fact that Ben is being controlling and annoying.

Ben sits next to her and eats his. They’re quiet, forks scraping on the bowls, and as always, Rey finishes her dinner first. She wipes her hands and mouth with her napkin and leans back, arms crossed.

But Ben is just gazing blankly at the wall. He eats kinda like he’s hypnotized.

“Do you really have to marry someone from the pack?” Rey asks, uncomfortable with the silence and kind of guilty for teasing him.

“I’m supposed to.”

“Ew. I’m sorry. Those girls are weird.”

He nods, still staring ahead. Rey examines her hands and waits a couple seconds but he doesn’t say anything else.

“Mom married a human,” she tries.

“Yeah, mom is a woman.”

“So?”

“Doesn’t have a knot.”

Rey frowns, then her face heats up. Oh. Gross. That’s really gross. That’s what dad meant by ‘anatomy.’

She sticks out her tongue and shudders, shaking her head. She already knows men have knots—she’s not a baby or a shut-in weirdo like the girls in grandpa’s pack. Well: werewolf men have knots. Makes sense it wouldn’t work with a human girl.

“That’s gross.” Rey hugs herself. “Sorry, but that’s gross.”

Ben shrugs. He spears a piece of broccoli, finally looking down at his bowl.

“Can’t let any human women see it,” he continues, “and I can’t touch any of the girls in the pack I’m not mated to, and grandpa doesn’t want me mating any of them. So I’m just…” He waves his broccoli around before popping it in his mouth. “Waiting.”

“That sucks, I guess.”

He nods. Not really a conversation Rey wants to have. She doesn’t want to think about her brother even _having_ a knot or hear about how horny he is. Ew.

“Grandpa’s thinking of bringing you into the pack soon, Rey.” Ben smiles when she doesn’t react. “Thought you’d be happy to hear that.”

“Um… I don’t know. I mean, I have school and stuff.”

“Weren’t you always the one transforming and running around the woods all night?”

“I dunno,” Rey mumbles. She looks down at her hands again. “I haven’t transformed in a while. I kinda like being human.”

“…Ah.”

The silence comes back. It’s kind of awkward talking to him now and it didn’t used to be.

She rubs her hands on her knees. “I hope grandpa doesn’t think I’m gonna marry some weirdo from the pack. I mean—I don’t really want to.”

“There’s no one in that pack he wants to mix with our blood. Mom fucked it all up marrying dad—grandpa had Felix set aside for her and he ended up with Megan. Never had any kids. Blood line is getting weak.”

“Oh. So… I’m in the clear.” Rey laughs. “Not like anyone is going to imprint on me, right?”

Ben suddenly starts choking on his food. He coughs and she scoots closer to pat his back, frowning. Whoops.

He sets his bowl on the coffee table and nods, still coughing a bit. Girl werewolves don’t imprint—boys do. Rey hasn’t met any boys except grandpa, Ben, and Uncle Luke, and none of _them_ have imprinted on her. Hopefully. That would be gross.

Grandpa imprinted on Grandma Padme, though, and it always seemed kind of romantic to Rey. Grandpa definitely thinks it’s a big deal, and a good sign. But she probably won’t meet a boy werewolf.

“Yeah—” Ben leans back, rubbing his chest. “You’re in the clear.”

Rey turns on the TV when he doesn’t say anything else. His arm is over the back of the couch and he sits there quietly with her, watching cartoons without his usual snippy comments and fight for the remote. She rests against his ribs and Ben tentatively puts his arm around her shoulders. He squeezes her closer.

Music floats through the dark living room. Rey closes her eyes, yawning.

“Your cologne sucks,” she mumbles.

Ben rubs his thumb on her upper arm. He shifts a little, then presses his cheek to the top of her head.

“My cologne?”

“Yeah. You smell like aftershave.”

“I don’t use aftershave, Rey.”

She frowns, eyes still closed. “Well you still smell.”

He laughs lightly. His cheek moves like he’s nuzzling her and he turns and actually nuzzles her, and takes a deep breath. Sniffing. It’s not totally weird—wolves sniff each other. Grandpa always sniffs Rey when he comes to visit.

“I think you smell, too,” Ben murmurs.

“I don’t smell!” Rey pulls away, scowling and lifting her arms. “I use deodorant!”

“Let me double check.”

Ben raises his eyebrows and beckons her. She huffs but scoots to his side again and tilts her head when he nuzzles her neck. She doesn’t _smell._ He smells.

His arm is loose around her waist. Rey closes her eyes and shivers at his warm breath on her neck, and she tilts her head a little further back. Feels kind of nice. Makes her belly warm.

Ben’s lips brush her skin. “Smells okay, I guess.”

“…Like what?”

He exhales, shaky, and swallows loud enough for her to hear. “Laundry, I guess. Warm.” His arm tightens around her middle. “It’s nice.”

Laundry? Weird. Rey frowns, eyes opening for a second before fluttering shut again. At least she doesn’t smell bad.

Ben’s other hand roams over her knee. His palm is warm and he squeezes before moving up her thigh a little bit. The warm in Rey’s belly wanders up into her chest and she rests her head on the back of the couch as her muscles relax. He’s kissing her maybe—his lips just brush her skin but then they press and she realizes he _is_ kissing her.

It should be gross. It is gross. But he leans over her and he’s warm and maybe doesn’t smell so bad, and his hand around her waist is so big it covers her belly. He keeps kissing her really lightly and she grasps his forearm around her middle with both hands, squirming.

Ben trails kisses up her jaw. He presses against her side, sliding his fingers toward her inner thigh.

“What do I smell like?” he whispers.

Rey swallows, shrugging. “Um… trees?”

He laughs. She huffs and starts to sit up but Ben clicks his tongue and shushes her and holds her in place. It makes her belly clench. Weird.

“You used to like the way I smell.”

“Nu uh.”

“Mhm.” He kisses her cheek and his hand slips away from her thigh to cup the side of her head. He tilts slightly and she moves with it, heart pounding, meeting his dark eyes. “I know how much you used to pace by my door.”

“I did not,” she mumbles. His thumb traces her upper lip. “Weirdo.”

Ben smiles—then he kisses her on the lips.

It’s not as scary as the last time. Rey draws back a little, but he kisses her again and she eases into it. His lips are soft and she can smell him; really strong and pine-y, and she pushes into the kiss and pushes her tongue in his mouth.

This time Ben jerks back. He blinks at her and she blinks at him, then a cold splash of shame washes away the heat twisting in her stomach. Oh. Gross.

The front door opens a second later.

“Ben? Rey?”

They quickly separate. Rey pushes away from Ben to the other end of the couch and crosses her arms awkwardly, pulse racing as she tries not to look suspicious. He coughs and puts a foot up on the edge of the coffee table, resting his temple on his knuckle and also trying not to look suspicious.

Mom comes into the living room, smiling. Rey tries to smile back.

“I see you had dinner,” she says.

“Yup.” Ben nods, eyes trained on the television.

Rey doesn’t say anything. Mom looks at the TV and rolls her eyes as she picks up the bowls.

“Zombified in front of the TV as always,” she mutters. “Ben, don’t take your sister’s phone. I appreciate the parenting help but I don’t need it.”

She walks out into the kitchen and leaves them alone again. Rey wrings her hands—usually here she would stick out her tongue and slap Ben’s head before running to her room—but she just silently gets up and heads upstairs.

Now she smells like him. It’s gross. It’s weird. But she kind of likes it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHEHEHEH

Rey lays in bed and stares at her bedroom ceiling for a while, arms behind her head. Huh, she thinks. That was weird.

She sits up to chew her nails. Her insides are goopy and hot again, shame washed away as quick as it came. She figures it’s not right—there are wires crossed here, and she just stuck her tongue in her brother’s mouth. And Ben is _gross._

The stairs creak and her gaze flickers to the door, pulse quickening. She chews and pauses when feet move across the landing and she can’t believe she’s kind of hoping it’s Ben coming to see her. Her hand falls away from her mouth and she sits there, stone still, holding her breath.

But the steps move on.

Rey exhales, widening her eyes. She flops on her back and rolls over to curl into a ball. Maybe they can just pretend that never happened.

—•—

Rey’s eyes pop open at five AM.

She sits up, blinking in surprise. She’s wide awake. The last time she woke up at five was for one of dad’s fishing trips, and she was so exhausted she slept during the entire car ride. So did Ben.

It’s still mostly dark out; kind of cold and misty like she’s in a dream. Rey rubs her eyes and yawns, stretching her arms towards the tips of her toes and grasping them to pull her back. Well—she did go to bed a little early last night. Maybe that’s why she’s up at such a weird hour.

She hops out of bed and takes a shower and brushes her teeth. Mom is already on the phone downstairs and Rey trots down to find her wandering around the kitchen drinking coffee, dressed for work. Still not a hundred percent sure what she does. Politics stuff?

Mom smiles and waves and Rey waves back. She helps herself to a bowl of cereal at the island, looking around for any sign of Ben, because she needs to be prepared to see him. Hopefully he forgets her sticking her tongue in his mouth.

Rey shudders, scarfing down her Cheerios. It’s a good thing mom can’t read minds.

“Honey, your brother went out for a walk,” mom calls from the living room. Keys jangle. “Your father is still sleeping so try to keep it down, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

“Have a great day, sweetheart. Tell Ben to go grocery shopping if he’s going to be… hanging around.”

Rey nods but doesn’t answer. The front door opens and shuts and everything goes quiet. She finishes her cereal and eats another bowl, this time a little quicker. Can’t see Ben. Can’t talk to him. It’s going to be weird.

She puts her bowl in the dishwasher and skips upstairs to get dressed. Rose wanted to go to the mall this week; maybe she’s around today. Or maybe dad will take her to the lake—they go fishing or swimming and it’s always fun. There’s even a restaurant there called Log Jam and it has really good salad.

But dad is sleeping so she can’t go bugging him yet. He’ll be up later.

Rey picks some shorts and a tank top and grimaces and tugs at them. Feel tight. She changes into a plain green sundress and feels a little better, but her skin is sensitive and even the dress is uncomfortable. She scratches her upper arms, wandering out into the hallway to check for dad. Nothing yet.

Rose isn’t awake, either. Rey huffs and dances in a small circle, antsy for some reason. Gotta get out of this house. She’s sick or something.

“What are you doing up so early?”

Rey spins around so fast she almost falls over. Ben comes out of the bathroom toweling his hair—he’s dressed, sweatpants and a tank top, but her heart skips a beat anyway. He’s dressed. It’s not like… _weird_ seeing her dumb brother after a shower.

“None of your business,” she snips.

“…Alright.”

He raises his eyebrows and she doesn’t miss the way his eyes move down her dress to her feet. Rey crosses her arms, glaring up at Ben before doing an about-face and storming back to her bedroom. Why’s he looking at her? What’s his problem?

Her nape tingles. Rey stops dead at her door and whirls around—he’s following her, and he’s only two feet away, and it makes her belly clench.

“What?!” she snaps.

“What?”

“Quit following me!”

“I’m not following you. You’re so fucking weird.”

She bristles. “You are _too_ following me!”

“No I’m not.” Ben rolls his eyes, pulling the towel away from his messy hair. “Get your head checked.”

Rey glowers after him as he walks to his bedroom and closes the door. He was _too_ following her. She can sense when she’s being followed and her instincts are never wrong. She just doesn’t know why he was following her and she doesn’t want to think about it.

She slams her door shut and paces, tapping her fingers on her upper arm. Something isn’t right in here. It’s her bedroom but she doesn’t want to be here, and her thoughts wander to Ben’s closet door propped open yesterday. Why would she want to go near Ben’s closet? It probably smells bad. He smells bad. He’s so dumb. _Rude._

But the urge won’t go away, so Rey storms over to her own closet, full of hung-up clothes and shoes and a couple Sterilite containers full of more clothes. She glares into her closet, then kneels and starts yanking stuff out of it.

The itch fades. Clothes and shoes fly across the room and she just keeps going, tossing it all out and setting her clothes on her bed until the closet is completely empty. It’s not very big. It’s a little smaller than Ben’s, but she can walk into it. She can turn in a circle and sit—and another itch comes.

Blankets. Pillows. Rey scratches her neck, flinching. The floor is hard in here even with the carpet. Feels cold and exposed and weird. But what is she supposed to do? She’s not going to tear her bed apart or anything. Mom bought her a new mattress last year; she’s not sleeping in her closet.

So she stands there and chews her nails and tears well up in her eyes. Her skin hurts. This is weird and scary and confusing. Why is she—

“Rey?”

Her belly twists. Rey clears her throat, peering from her closet, and sees Ben peeking into her bedroom. He’s hesitating, looking around at the mess she made. Embarrassing. What is she _doing_?

Ben glances at her before ambling slowly into her room. He looks around some more and runs a hand through his hair. Still damp.

“Just wanted to, uh…” His throat bobs. “Apologize.”

“It’s fine.” Rey rubs her eyes, hoping to smear her tears away before he notices. “I’m just… cleaning. Mom told me to.”

He nods. He’s quiet for a minute, rubbing his fingers against his thumb and staring at the pile of stuff scattered on her bed. Rey folds her arms and sniffles and leans on the edges of her feet.

Ben glances at the door and tilts his head to see out into the hallway.

“You want help?” he asks.

She shrugs, unnerved by the way his offer makes her feel. _No_ , she doesn’t want his help. What’s he barging in for, anyway?

He looks back at her. Rey blushes and shrugs again, higher this time so he knows she doesn’t care. Whatever. Fine. He can put it away and she’ll take a nap. He doesn’t have to be so weird about it.

Ben stands there and doesn’t say anything for a minute. He looks at the door one more time, then takes two slow steps toward it to close it.

“We should put it all back.” The door clicks softly shut. “Don’t want mom to see.”

“I’m—I’m just cleaning.”

“Yeah, I know. But she might see it a different way, and then she has to tell grandpa, and then grandpa will want you to come join the pack.”

Join the pack? But she’s only thirteen. Rey’s lower lip quivers at the thought of it, when just two years ago she couldn’t wait. She doesn’t want to go. Why would grandpa make her?

Ben sees, and he comes over. His hands hesitate in front of her and he pats her shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he assures her. “I won’t tell mom or grandpa. We should just put this back.”

“I don’t want to join the p-pack!” Sobs come, deep and loud and gross. “I don’t want to leave!”

“I know, I know. It’s okay, Rey. We’ll just clean this up and no one is going to—”

Her door opens abruptly.

Dad stands there, bedraggled and exhausted, brown hair a mess. He’s wearing shorts and a black T-shirt and his gaze sweeps across Rey’s room, settling on her and Ben standing near the closet. Ben quickly puts his hands in his pockets.

It’s quiet. Dad’s eyes roam back to the stuff scattered on the floor and he clenches his jaw.

“…Cleaning?” he asks gruffly.

“Yeah.” Ben motions with his hand still in his pocket. “No big deal.”

Rey sniffles loudly. Will Dad tell mom? Does he know what’s going on?

Dad just nods. He rubs his face, pausing with it covering his eyes.

“Alright. Make sure it’s cleaned up before your mother gets home.”

Then he closes the door. Footsteps shuffle off down the hallway.

Rey isn’t sure what just happened but Ben sighs like he’s relieved. He gets her clothes on the bed first and she hurries to grab a couple pairs of shoes. It seems like dad isn’t going to tell. He’s never liked the werewolf stuff.

It takes about an hour to get everything put back where it was. The itch gets worse but Rey ignores it. It’s better than having to join grandpa’s pack.

But she doesn’t get why Ben is helping her. He’s mentioned her joining the pack a couple times and then they could be together _all_ the time. He’s quiet while he works and only says a couple things. It’s odd and it makes her nervous.

He slides her closet shut and they stand there in silence for another minute. Ben rubs the back of his neck.

“Alright. That should do it.” He glances down at Rey and she looks up. “You okay?”

She nods, but her eyes burn with tears anyway. She’s okay. Doesn’t get what’s going on—mom has never told her about any of this stuff. It has to be werewolf stuff but even mom avoids that most of the time. It’s so embarrassing crying in front of Ben, too. This sucks.

“Hey—it’s okay.”

He puts an arm around Rey’s shoulders. She shrugs him off, tingly and uncomfortable, hastily crossing her arms over her chest. This sucks. This is so weird.

Then she breaks down into tears. She doesn’t resist Ben this time, turning and melting into his ribs when he puts an arm around her shoulders again. She can just barely wrap her arms around his waist and she buries her face in his shirt and—he smells really nice. It doesn’t make sense but he smells really nice.

“It’s okay,” Ben repeats. He kisses the top of her head. “Let’s, uh… Why don’t we go get breakfast somewhere? You’ll feel better if you eat.”

Rey isn’t hungry. She squeezes Ben tighter instead, sobs fading into muffled sniffles as she breathes in the scent of him. It makes her insides goopy just like last night—it’s very relaxing. He’s very relaxing.

“‘M not hungry,” she mumbles.

“No? You’re always hungry.”

“ _No_.”

Ben laughs. She hiccups, burying her face in his side. Now she’s tired. Kinda uneasy. Really wants to tear all the stuff out of her closet again.

Her brother pets her hair. Normally she would hate it but she finds it kind of nice right now. Rey closes her eyes, relaxing into his gentle touch. Feels like a back scratch. It’s really nice.

“Alright,” Ben says. He hugs her closer. “You want to take a nap? Looks like you woke up too early.”

She scowls, eyes rolling open as she pulls away. He’s smiling down at her and he laughs at her _consternation_ , a fancy word she learned in English last year. Ben is very _consternating_. Maybe that’s not a real word.

“You’re mean,” Rey mumbles, crossing her arms.

“I’m not mean.”

“Yu-huh.”

He shakes his head, reaching out and wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her to his side again. Rey huffs and struggles halfheartedly, growling into his chest—and Ben lifts her off the floor, twirling in a circle and growling back.

Rey squeals and kicks her feet. It feels like she might fall; it’s making her dizzy, and she buries her face in his neck as he comes to a slow stop.

His skin is warm. Rey frowns, sliding her hands from his shoulders to loop them behind his back. It smells warm, somehow: it brings up memories of running in the wide fields behind the house, tumbling through the sunny tall grass. That was a long time ago. Those were her favorite times with Ben, when she could still knock him over and pin him.

She smells him through her mouth and Ben tilts his jaw a little to the side. Her tongue tingles as she nuzzles his skin—then she’s licking with the tip, and then she’s kissing him, and she doesn’t know why. His skin tastes nice. Her ankles hook behind his back and she squirms in his arms. Heat simmers up her nape.

Rey realizes her kisses are loud as she moves down Ben’s neck toward his collar bone. He exhales, shaky and short, and tightens his embrace around her middle. He’s rubbing her back with one hand but she barely notices it because his scent is really, really distracting.

They move a couple steps and Ben sits on the edge of her bed. It squeaks and he hesitates, turning his head to look at the door. Rey keeps nibbling at his neck until he touches her hair and cups the back of her head to pry her away. She whines, licking her lips and shifting in his lap. _No_ …

Ben kisses her temple and her cheek and the corner of her mouth. He pauses there, and Rey feels a swell of excitement and shame, and he kisses the corner of her mouth again. She swallows and turns her head just enough to kiss him back, then his fingers thread through her hair and he kisses her a little harder. His lips are soft and he nuzzles her nose with his and Rey keeps her eyes closed.

“It’s okay,” he whispers. His hand slides from her hair to cradle her cheek instead. “No one will know.”

She leans in and kisses him like she did last night. This time she tries not to shove her tongue in his mouth and this time Ben doesn’t pull back. He kisses her, kind of tilting his head and easing into it—she’s never kissed anyone and it’s weird having a tongue in her mouth but she likes it. Not _too_ weird.

Rey grasps the front of his shirt in her hands. They’re making out, she realizes. It’s wet and the sounds are strange and not really like what she expected but her head is swimming in goop and heat and she tries not to think too much about it. Ben isn’t pushing or anything; it seems like he’s letting her kiss him and just responding to it.

But she pushes. Her body vibrates with a need she hasn’t known before and she pushes on Ben’s chest, trying to get him to lie back. He grunts in her mouth and breaks their kiss for a minute, gently holding her jaw when she follows and tries kissing him more.

“I can’t believe—” Rey kisses him and he grunts, leaning into it before he pulls away. His voice is rough and low and his thumb presses into her cheek. “I can’t believe you were making me a nest.”

She pulls his lower lip through her teeth. Ben shivers and groans, deep and rumbling, and Rey struggles closer. She’s hot. She wants more.

“Rey— _Rey_.” He laughs breathlessly and shakes his head when she kisses him again. “Slow down. Shh, shh—just slow down a little.”

She doesn’t want to slow down. She wants more; she isn’t sure _what_ but she wants more.

With another sharp push she gets Ben to fall back on his elbow. His fingers are in her hair and he pulls a little and she grabs his face in both hands so she can kiss him deeper. He groans into it like he’s in pain or something but it makes Rey’s belly clench and her skin prickle and she wants _more_ of that feeling.

“Rey,” he whispers. She keeps going and he pulls her hair, trying to stop her. “ _Rey_. Seriously—”

A knock on the door interrupts Ben. They look up a split second before it opens, and Rey manages to scramble out of Ben’s lap.

She falls on the floor as dad peeks in. He’s dressed and holding his keys and he just glances between her and Ben, quiet. He rolls his keys around his index finger.

“Going grocery shopping. Need anything?”

Ben clears his throat and shakes his head. Rey shakes hers, too.

Dad stares at them for another minute. His tongue presses in his cheek and he settles on Ben.

“Get dressed. You’re both coming with me.”

They nod. Dad keeps eyeing Ben and nods in return, and he pushes the door open all the way before he leaves. His keys jangle as he walks downstairs.

Ben gets up. He doesn’t look at Rey when he leaves but she doesn’t look at him, either.

She doesn’t really breathe until he’s gone, and she slowly covers her mouth with her hands. First real kiss, and it was with her stupid brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @malreverie  
> carrd: malevolentreverie.carrd.co


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